Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Letters Continued...


Dear Mike,
I am not sure if I am dealing with your loss the way I should. I have come to Jesus and in this I find joy but there are times the pain tugs at my heart. I don't know if it is because I began mourning while you were sick; I mourned the loss of some aspects of our relationship before you ever left. SEE, right there, I said "before you left". Like you just left me and did not really die. Like you might come back... I think somehow I am waiting patiently for you to walk back into my life. I just miss you! I depended on you always being here and now you are not. Come Back to me, PLEASE! I lay down alone, the bed is big and cold, you are supposed to be holding me. Lay like we used to, my leg draped over you, my arm around you...I caressed your face to memorize it, I can still trace your cheekbones (I loved them) and your perfect lips. Your collarbone, your muscles, your chest...I just want to touch you once more. I will never forget how cold you were, but I could not stop touching you, and our final kiss I will never forget. I want one more kiss but then I would want another and another... Tomorrow is 3 months, too long to be apart from some one you spent every second with... I want to hold you, smell you, I can't...So I will just cry... 

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